Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Diary Entry 1 - About Me & Grief


As a blogger I feel like I need to devote my full self and be real to all my followers and who I am.  I am aware that most of you do not know much about me other than I am a fashion student and write a silly blog. Well I feel like its time to open up and get real with y'all.  Grab a snack -  
I am currently beginning this post in the comfort of my bathtub, it is one of my favourite ways to wind down and relax at the end of a day. I am a lush bath bomb fanatic and today my water is as blue as the sea. (Thanks big blue)  
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I sometimes feel like I could write a book or a movie about my life and all the events that have taken place, but I wont overwhelm you just yet. So lets begin…
My name is Cassandra Rose Edith Cathcart, I am 21 years old from Ottawa, Ontario & going to school in Toronto. I have an obsession with coffee shops, frenchies, & palm trees.

I love fashion, style & being creative. I was never the smart kid in school but I always got by. I moved to Ottawa when I was 15 and am totally in love with this place and all of the people I have met. It has truly been a blessing. For schooling I did one and a half years at Ottawa University before deciding it was not for me and am now a Fashion Management student studying at George Brown College in Toronto.

The biggest thing that has happened - 

In 2013 my best friend and father passed away, he had a heart attack in his sleep and didn't wake up one morning. I still remember that day like it was yesterday, but the best thing I can think of to say is that he looked so peaceful tucked in his bed. Almost two years have gone by and I still feel like I have not grieved. Which is probably the most important thing you can do when you lose a loved one. Saying things get better and it takes time is also true but grieving is the most important. I got caught up in taking care of my mom and younger sister that I but myself to the side. Two years later, they are doing much better but I am behind now. 
A lot of people have told me I am cold and strong headed, not sure if they are related but I guess I can say yes to both of those. I don't like talking about my feelings or bringing others down so I keep a lot of it inside. Also something you should never do. I am currently learning the hard way through all of this and hope that I can help some of you. After two years I am finally going to see grief counseling so I can get some help and work on myself. 

This past year even though I was doing something I love and was with someone I love, I feel into depression. Something very common but I never wanted to face reality and believe I had it since I was always supposed to be the strong one. Reality has hit and It is time to get some help. I am super excited to start grief counseling and to talk about my depression. I believe now is the time because I want to be happy again in my life and for myself. 

I think each week I will be doing a diary entry so you guys can learn a little more about me and to talk about problems we face every day. Including the good, bad, break ups, depression and more. I cannot wait to take my blogging further and become more involved every day. I hope you guys will follow & be a part of my life. 

Talk Soon,
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